ALERT! I may get philosophical at places. Hey, I’m back to blogging after a long long break. What do you expect? 😉
After a fairly long time, I had the chance to travel by train last week. If my memory serves me right, this is my first train journey alone. There was another time when I traveled alone but I chanced upon a neighbor from my town and he was in the same compartment “watching over” me, so that doesn’t count.
I don’t actually prefer traveling long hours by a AC bus/train. I’m the “open the windows, let the wind blast your face, don’t mind the hair getting tangled” kind of a person. Stuffy AC spaces are not my thing. But unfortunately, due to ticket unavailability, I had to book a seat in the AC compartment. Little did I know that I was going to have an amazing journey nevertheless.
By the time I boarded, it was lights out. Everyone else in the compartment had climbed into their berths and were asleep. It was 09:15 pm and for a night owl like me, that’s like the start of the day 😀 My phone’s battery was running out of charge and the socket in the compartment was already in use, so decided I’ll just step out and plug it in the common one they have near the doorway.
So I walked to the door, kept it open and started enjoying the rush of wind hitting my face and of course checking texts on the charging phone. The TTE was nearby and struck up a conversation with me. This went on for sometime after which he put his game face on and was determined to clear level 271 of Candy Crush. 😀
I stood there for more than an hour. When I travel with my parents, standing near the door was a strict no no. Here I was, relishing every second of my time there, grateful for the solitude, because at times, that’s exactly what you need. I had conversations with random people. I watched as people stared into the mirror. And sometimes just blinked into space.
As moments ticked away, I realized I was falling.
Falling in love.
Falling in love with the journey.
For sometime nothing else mattered. I didn’t care to brush my hair away from my face. I didn’t mind the people passing by or what they would think. I was not even slightly disturbed by the tiny little roaches running around. I was just enjoying the journey. The view. The smell of air. I was enjoying life.
Many a time, we are so fully consumed by the thought of who we are, why are we here, what are we doing, where are we going, that we fail to appreciate the beauty of the moment at hand and the ineffable joy of the journey. Not of where we are headed, but of the journey itself.
I’ve always loved these lines from the song “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus.
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody’s gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side
It’s the climb
Yeah, yeah yeah
Keep on movin’
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about, it’s all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa, whoa, oh.
I used to be so worried of the uncertainties of life. So troubled by the “what ifs”. That day all of that came to a pause. I have this friend who I talk to most of the time. You know, the kind of friend that keeps you sane at times when things are going crazy. The kind of friend you go to when are really happy or you are really sad or anything in between. The kind of friend you update every now and then, so often, that it’s almost like you both are in the same place! I used to think, what happens if and when we come to a point where we lose contact or don’t talk that much or drift apart. Will I or can I survive that change at all? So much so that it is frightening at times.
That day I thought, why spoil what I have by thinking about what will be? I have no idea what is going to happen in two or three years down the line but what I do have is the gift of the “present”. If we are able to be the same forever, then that’s great. Can’t ask for anything more. But if not, well, I can’t complain, right? What will be, will be. Why worry about uncertainties? Let me just enjoy the climb. The ride. The journey. The here. The now.
The same applies to everything. My future, my career, where I’ll end up- nope, not a clue! I’ll just have to wait and see. I might as well look out the window and smile as I wait, never giving up love.
What will it look like?
What will it be like?
When my world turns out like You planned
When will I get there?
Feels like I’m nowhere
My dreams are like dust in my hand
But I know This is the waiting
I anxiously wait
As I hold on to love that won’t ever let go
And in these times when my patience is tested
Won’t you remind me that I’m not alone
Here in the waiting.