Sharing a part of me


Of all the things that made my family reunion special for me, the one that is closest to my heart is having got the opportunity to stand in front of everyone and share my testimony with them. And now I want to share it with you all too 🙂

testimony

You should probably go read this post if you don’t know what I’m talking about or if you are new to my blog.

The entire program was streamed live to those who couldn’t make it that day. So I thought I’d take my testimony part , post it here and let it do all the talking. But the quality is quite poor and it stops at certain places and a few seconds of my speech are missing too.  I’m posting the video anyway, but it’s not that easy to grasp what I’m speaking given the video and audio quality. So I am posting a transcript below to make things easier for you 🙂

Hello everybody,I’m Pearlyn, Dr.Johnson and Dr.Sumitha’s second child-only daughter and Maggie and Shelton’s(*mom’s parents*) grand daughter. I’m really very happy to be here. Actually the reason I’m here is Kenny thatha I should say. Somehow he found my blog and read my posts and he thought it would be nice if I could share my life with all of you.

I don’t know where to start. I’m extremely happy to be in this family and I am going to tell you how Lord Jesus Christ has touched my life and the wonderful ways in which He has led me and how this family has been instrumental in getting me closer to Jesus. Yes,my childhood was like every other child’s. I was born and brought up in a very good Christian family. I did my Sunday school, went to church as usual and everything was like that. It was in my 10th Std that I experienced Jesus in a much closer way. My exams were nearing and I was diagnosed with something called Writer’s Cramps. Maybe some of the doctors here will know what it is about. In a nutshell, it’s difficult to write when you have Writer’s Cramps. As you know, 10th Boards Exams are very important and my exams were nearing. And I got really frustrated and angry. People around me were telling “Pray to God”,”Pray to Jesus” ,“Ask Jesus” and it was simply impossible. (*At this point I was beginning to choke up*)Simply impossible to trust Jesus when you go through that kind of experience at a very young age.(*Eyes full of tears and unable to speak. Completely broke down and took a few seconds to regain composure*) I told myself not to cry but sorry. My parents kept telling me trust Jesus and pray but that was very irritating you know, to be very honest with you. Because here I was, a 15 year old girl very sick and unable to write with lot of medications going on and somebody telling me to trust God. This doesn’t make sense, right? I know everybody must have gone through that phase in life where it just doesn’t make sense. Like it’s all nonsense, you know. What does God have to tell? Why does He have to make me go through this sickness at such an young age? They kept telling me [about Jesus] you know, I think that’s the quality my mother and father gained from their parents, they were brought up in a wonderful way in a good Christian family. During those times I missed Maggie gama and Shelton thatha a lot.(*You can read more about them here and here*)When they were there I used to think these people advise me too much. But then when I was in such a difficult period, I missed them a lot. Now you all know me because I have this talent for writing and somebody saw my blog. It all started when Maggie gama passed away. That’s when I sat in a room alone and penned my very first poem which was “A Voice Behind”. It was her death that brought out the writing gift in me, you know.(*Related Post:Why don’t you write?*”) So everything bad has something good.

But yes back then I didn’t realise it and I was very angry and was very frustrated but my parents were very strong in their faith and they kept telling me “Pray to Jesus” “Pray to Jesus” and somewhere I think it got inside my heart and one day I asked them ,“Ok What is Jesus wanting to do? What is this salvation thing you talk so highly about? I want to know about that.” And they told me and led me to Jesus.

That day I thought, “Okay I’m saved, today is my salvation, hallelujah!” but only now I realise it’s not a one day event. It’s a process that started that day and everyday I’m learning new things, making new mistakes. So that was how it began. This is how my story begins. Maybe my story began in 1993 but the actual story began only in my 10th Grade when I took Jesus into my heart.

And from there it has been a wonderful learning experience- I kept growing, I kept falling, getting up and God gave me the most wonderful relatives- you all! Viola gama(*my mom’s chithi*), in Maggie gama’s absence, she was an absolute darling to me. My parents and the most loving and forgiving brother Traveen , who couldn’t be here today- they all kept encouraging me.

Back in 12th grade, I was in Computer Science group where you have Maths and I hate Maths! I never used to score well in Maths. I used to try very hard but then I never used to score well and one day I was so angry- Mom and I were coming by scooty and she was telling me not to give up, keep trying and everything. At the railway gate we had to wait and a car just passed by and there was something written on the car that spoke to me which was “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me”.(*Psalm 138:8*) You know, the Lord sent the message on four wheels-The car had to pass by that time, we had to wait and I had to read it! It was His perfect plan and I wrote a poem based on that called “On Four Wheels”. He spoke to me that way and I realised God has different and wonderful ways of speaking to us and encouraging us.

Then I got into Government Engineering College, Tirunelveli. I didn’t like the college, I think for two years I struggled to get along with the people there. But after that I realised how much of a blessing it is to be with your parents and go to college. I didn’t have all the added responsibilities, I was able to get into all church activities and everything . This seed was sown when I was very young by Maggie gama, Shelton thatha and grandparents from my dad’s side. They kept telling me “Jesus Jesus Jesus” and even though it didn’t make sense back then , now as I think back and look back it makes so much sense and it is so true even today. You know how we read in the Bible , God says to Abraham ,“I will bless you and multiply you.” (*Genesis 13:16*)It is true even today right? We are all his descendants!

Also, God wanted to teach me humility. I’m very sure of that because in everything that I do, somehow, when the time comes to do that, for example, an important exam or something, I come to a point where I can’t do it on my own. So the only choice is I have to trust the Lord. That’s how He taught me to humble myself and trust Him completely. There was this program in college and I was given the chance to sing solo(*read about it here*). There were so many nice singers but He chose me out of them and I was so insecure, I was so intimidated by that and I didn’t want to sing. But then He gave me strength to sing and I sang.

(*The next couple of lines were missing in the video. So I’m just guessing this is what I should have spoken!*)

In the month of August, we had a campus drive in our college from Zoho Corp. On the day of the first written round, I was so down, both physically and mentally. But to my surprise I got through which was totally God’s doing which was when I realised that we are blessed not because of what we do, but because of His grace. Of course He sees our efforts and blesses that but above all that it has always been His grace and His mercy that has been leading me throughout. I got through all the five rounds and I got selected.

There has been a lot of experiences that I can talk about but it’s already late and I’m trying to rush through. One thing I want to say is His words never fail. I mean you might have read them years ago , the words which did not make sense then will make sense years later and it will be so apt for the situation that we are facing. Now I understand why I was asked to read the Bible everyday. As a child, I did not have temptations or troubles but still they wanted me to read because today those verses, those Bible time help me a lot.

Even now when Kenny thatha said, “Come and speak before all this people”,you know, so many elders are here, so many greater testimonies sitting here in front of me. But still it had to be me which I think is God’s way. I really feel grateful, humble and am feeling blessed that it had to be me. But along the road I was very afraid. Well, 100 people, most of you I’m meeting for the first time and I was going to share about a part of myself with all of you !!! I was really intimidated and yesterday as I was talking to my chithi(mom’s sister), she reminded me of Paul’s experience. I was thinking “ I do not deserve to stand here. I’m still a work in progress. Why should I stand here? There are so many experienced people here who are more spiritual than me, so why should I stand here? I don’t deserve this.” I couldn’t fight these feelings. Paul says in Romans 7, “ I do not do the things that I want to do but I do the very things that I hate.”(*Romans 7:15*) So even “the” Paul, the apostle Paul had that problem, even when he was ministering to so many people! So it’s okay to feel like that sometimes, to fall at times and as I said, I am a work in progress.

But I am very very grateful that He gave the people that He gave me, the family that He gave me, the sibling, the cousins that He gave me. I hope today, with my cousins here, I hope some day they will also have their own story and I hope this will be an inspiration for them.

So thanks for hearing me out. All this is not for me or to glorify some people of our family. It is only for Jesus and Jesus alone.

So this is my story and it’s not over yet. Thank you so much.

Below is a link to my Reunion Category Archive. Enjoy reading and join me in praising God! 🙂

The Pannaivilai Diary

Here is a testimony I wrote for my blog just after finishing school : Go, Tell it on the mountains!

What’s your testimony?

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Sharing a part of me

What's your say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s